Stumble

Stumble

Ruptured lines of communication
Opposing views of the facts
Psychological debate of motivation
Disputed views of the past

The few from the many quite distinct
The many form another dimension
The discussion of choice over instinct
The result being an internal tension

The weightlessness of joy has departed
The heaviness of sorrow takes its place
The comfort of home soon departed
The agony of loss in its place

The moment once gone, can’t be recovered
Feelings rush in on the tide
A chink in the armour discovered
The spotlight from which you must hide

The sadness that creeps through your soul
And threatens to swallow the light
For a while, you cannot feel whole
An inner darkness that would challenge the night

Where once it would have anger as outcome
Negative energy fleeing through fight
Now only breathing will find inner freedom
Weeping eyes restoring clear sight

To feel what I feel is distressing
To know what I know oft’ too much
Understanding for most is just guessing
I don’t need their emotional crutch

Causing hurt where never intended
Self-perception being challenged by word
Word choices you wish you’d amended
Resulting feelings, you wish you’d deferred

Intensity has its up and its down
Feeling all has its high and its low
Causing pain makes the joy in you drown
Feeling pain this severe is a blow

Toxins slowly leaving the bloodstream
Tension slowly leaving the soul
Memory fading slowly from the internal scream
Weightless joy once again is the goal

There are many times I might wish to be less
When this pain, is the burden I bear
But my innate understanding, I bless
And I know that pain is the outcome of care

So, please forgive my me absence and silence
Whilst I struggle to balance my heart
I must battle the urge for defiance
Which always insists that it must play a part

Wounded warriors should be circled with caution
For the wound makes their temper run short
Soft words and soft looks for precaution
Whilst their inner maelstrom they manage to thwart

Time heals most all that life offers
Love vanquishes all in its path
Care, the medicine a kindred soul proffers
Returning to home, calculation the soul’s math

Venting and breathing, the process
Home and returning, the goal
Do not permit the joyless dark to oppress
Never relinquish any part of the soul

© Iain Merchant 2020